Pakistani police are being outfitted with pieces of gear the likes of which have always been seen.
According to a recent report, 5-0 in the city of Karachi are now being issued rollerblades to assist in their mission to fight theft and harassment.
“Why is this news? Must be a slow day,” you’re angrily typing for the millionth time into the black hole that is a Facebook comment thread. Know what isn’t slow? Crime fighters on inline skates ripping down streets and catching sick air off janky obstacles.
There a thief is, just having secured a treasured item, enjoying the thrill of the heist and riding 25-foot waves of positivity until ... whoa! A bladed Usain Bolt appears as if from the spirit world — after unnecessarily jumping a motorcycle instead of skating conveniently around it. So rad.
You wanted to go for broke, but instead, you just got apprehended by the stoke.
And have we mentioned these exuberant units are armed?
What sort of combat glide improvements could the U.S. military make if service members were actually, you know, gliding?
Of course, all anyone has to do to get away from the gnar police is run into an area covered in dirt or rocks, but whatever. Let’s blade, brah.
Roll on down below to check out the specialized unit.
J.D. Simkins is the executive editor of Military Times and Defense News, and a Marine Corps veteran of the Iraq War.